A Couple Thoughts For the Day...

Why do I have a job that requires me to wake up at 3:45 am to still make it to work 15 minutes late everyday? It is not that I intend to be late, but I honestly feel like I possess a gene that will inevitably make me late no matter where I am going. Doctor's appointments, tanning appointments, my own birthday party.... I guess the main issue on this matter is that I just don't allow myself half the time needed to get the hell where I am going. I don't plan for the idiots on the road that will only drive 5 miles under the speed limit or when I forget things have to turn around and get them.... This may have to be part of my new years resolution.

Just because we have had crazy weather for the past month such as feet of snow and now rain resembling Noah's Ark days, why have several people guffawed the thought of global warming?? JUST BECAUSE IT IS SNOWING AND RAINING CATS AND DOGS DOES NOT MEAN THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT REAL!! A side effect from global warming IS crazy ass weather. Don't be that ignorant.

While in the midst of "historic" rainfall (according to my local news channel) and local officials are telling people they need to evacuate... why does the news channel seek out the most WT family that has 4 teeth between the 6 of them, has campers on blocks in the backyard as "guest cottages," and a pack of wild dogs running around them and interview them saying that they are "just going to ride it out." Five bucks says I will see them tomorrow on the news being shipped out of their homes on life rafts by the National Guard. And then they will sue because they weren't given ample warning to get out of their sorry ass double wide.

That is it for today... I will undoubtedly have more tomorrow.

Dear Kitty...

I understand that we all have accidents sometimes. You are now 8 years old. You have used the great outdoors to take care of any business that needed to be tended to since you were a kitten. I never even had to suffer through those first couple of months of potty training with you. You even went the extra mile to learn to scratch on the sliding glass door, front door, window, what have you.. to give me a heads up to get off my ass and let you out to do work. I thought this was a great arrangement.
Now... I also understand that you were blessed with indoor "plumbing" (AKA me shoveling out large clumps of shit with longer hair than I have snaking off of each clump collecting all kinds of litter) when we moved into our new place but that was only a temporary thing. I did that for your safety so you could get used to the neighborhood and not get either eaten by the scarily oversized, crazed poodles down the road.. or hit by a 16 year old who just got his license doing doughnuts down in the high school parking lot that we are so fortunate to live nearby.
So... I was was a little understanding when you decided to make the bathroom sink your new "toilet." I figured that was a one time thing. But, when you did it again... once a day for the next four days... that is when understanding turns to anger. Not only am I half asleep at 4am when I stumble on into MY bathroom... but then I have the great pleasure of wadding up my nice Charmin toliet paper and using it to try to attempt to get your shit out in whole pieces, to not leave skid marks in the sink and all the while holding the chunks of vomit back from spewing all over the place... which never happens. So.. the last straw is when you decided to show your new found little trick to company who came over and while they were using the facilities, you decided to make it a group thing. Shitting in the sink isn't like fetching a ball. I didn't want the whole world to know we were having this slight disagreement. So I smacked you around a little and threw your ass outside.
Now... it has been 5 FULL days without a shit in the sink episode when much to my delight... as I was vaccuuming the floor I noticed a little bit of dirt kicked out of my large potted plant in the living room. Now what could that be???? Why would dirt be kicked out of the plant. Did the plant sprout a new stalk?? Did the roots decide to dredge their way up to the top of the pot to give me some kind of indication that I needed to water it?? No and no. The largest shit I have ever seen come out of a cat is laying square on top of my nice organic potted soil mix just like a present under the tree for Christmas. And as an added bonus... your shit covered footprints all over my freshly painted white bookshelves.....

Point taken... the litter box will return tomorrow.

Fa la la la la... la la la la....

Number of days snowed in the house... 5
Number of feet of snow that is making me dependent on the man to drive me around like Ms. Daisy... 2.5
Number of times I have cleaned the house (even though there is nothing left to clean AND I still will do it all again tomorrow before the festivities AND the Christmas day festivites).. 4
Number of fights me and the man have gotten into due to NOT BEING ALONE TOGETHER THIS LONG IN I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN... 3
Number of trips to the grocery store to pick up "those last few ingredients" to make both Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner (yes, my parents are divorced so I get to juggle the holidays AND provide meals on both).. 4
Number of cigarettes... 4,000,000,000
Number of people I have invited to come to dinner tomorrow.. 9
Number of people I know for sure are coming to dinner tomorrow.. 4 ** WHY DOES NO ONE RSVP THESE DAYS!?!?!?!?!?
Number of dishes my sister is pitching in on since she is the child of both my parents as well and will be attending both holidays... 0
Number of hours spent on the phone with my poor BFF bitching, moaning, complaining, and venting about my family, my man, the snow, the hair I found on my chin today because I was so bored and decided to examine my face for an hour... 3.5
Number of presents wrapped.. Can't remember...
Number of days left of vacation.. 5
Number of days it will take me to get over this vacation... 76

Cabin Fever

Okay.. so... the crazy weather is starting to get to me. I really enjoy the snow and being all warm in my house, drinking warm beverages and stuff, but being trapped here for almost 2 days now... REALLY GETTING TO ME!!! And my time on lockdown doesn't even compare to some of my other friends. Some have been cooped up for 4 days now!! I am seriously going stir crazy. I have cleaned everything.. twice. I guess I COULD start unpacking some boxes that I haven't gotten around to yet... but that may be asking too much. I think I'll go and wake the man out of his slumber to take me to drive me around like Ms. Daisy....

Experiment....

Okay. So, I have heard of the blogging thing... read some... laughed at some... rolled my eyes at some... and thought why in the world would anyone take the time to post some of their inner most feelings?? And on the internet at that?? Are we so caught up in the "I'm a Star (for 15 minutes)" that everyone needs to come up with something to put out there for their claim to fame?

But... after a friend of mine that I went to high school with posted on her MySpace she was leaving and could be contacted at her blog.. I started reading. Found myself cracking up at some of the stuff she wrote... Nodding my head in agreeance with others... And venting some much needed feelings needing to be vented.

Soo... I am giving it a shot. I guess I can use this as a theraputic way to let my inner most bitch out at the sake of others feelings. I am often told that I should have a filter for my mouth as I seem to offend people almost everyday. And it is not like I am out for blood or into seeing peeps cry or anything... I just have 2 problems with that mouth of mine. #1.... I guess I operate on the "tell it to my face" operandi. If you have an opinion.. I'd rather you say it to me as opposed to behind my back and then it turns into the "telephone game." And it ALWAYS turns out worse than what it started. And... I have discovered, that A LOT of people don't seem to appreciate genuine honesty. Hence the reason I have had a "falling out" with almost all of my girlfriends. No tears.. I am back in the good with most... But you know.. who the hell am I? What should my thoughts matter to you? You ask, I tell. If you want it sugar coated.. don't sit next to me. Enough with #1. I guess number #2 would be... Sometimes... I guess I don't really think though what the hell is about to come flying out of my mouth. And then 2 seconds later it is too late. So now you are faced with the decision to either A. Retract that last statement and look like a jackass... or... B.... go with it and look like a jackass. Usually, I just go with B as I wouldn't want to look like a hypocrite or that I'm not playing with a full deck sometimes...

So here begins the experiment. We will see... Stay tuned.....